My doctor advised me to consider talking to a therapist. She gave me some sleeping pills as a temporary relief, a short time escape from my thoughts that are raising my heartbeat. I want to sleep through it, maybe when I wake up the world would a better place? A therapist will not solve this. This needs restore factory settings.
I am done, done fighting, done swimming against the current, flying against the wind, playing against the rules, traveling the road less traveled, changing the unchangeable, naively believing that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. It does not. It eats you up, it crawls into your nightmare and it opens the door to your hidden demons. It does not kill you, it just makes you wish it did already.